The Two-Year Old Within

By Shawn Wood

Published: November 13, 2008

I wish that I could read the Bible and always feel like I have it together, but the truth is many times when I read the Bible I realize the truth about myself and I realize that I am the problem. I am often confronted with the opportunity to make that choice to decide if I will continue to live a life centered on myself or if I will make the difficult choice of investing in things that will last.

This blog is entry of Shawn Wood's book, 200 Pomegranates and an Audience of One

I learned a lot about this dilemma when my little girl was two years old. Many of you have had a two-year-old in your home, and I think that you will agree with this assessment: We all have a two-year-old within us that is waging a war!

I think we can safely say that most two-year-old children are pretty much hardwired for selfishness. I never once remember teaching my little girl to say, "No, Mommy" or, "Go away, Daddy." It just came naturally. I especially remember when a whole new set of words showed up in our home as Isabelle really started acting like a two-year-old.

There was a period of time when my little girl loved to buckle and unbuckle things. Any time she would climb out of her "eat seat" (that's our family name for the high chair) she would start saying, "bucklebucklebuckle" at a frantic pace. There was much drama involved. I think she got the drama from her mama.

I remember one time while playing in the backyard she ran over to her swing; I started to reach down to unbuckle the seat to let her in when she declared, "No, Daddy; Ihhh-bell do-eat." ("No, Daddy; Isabelle do it.") I quickly learned that Isabelle was acting her age, and that part of my job was to help her grow up.

I can't help realizing that although I am thirty-one years older than my little girl, I still often act like a two-year-old. Sometimes I feel like there is still a two-year-old who battles within me. When I am working on a team at work, sometimes I just want to scream, "Shawn do it!" When I am at home and my wife has the remote control, sometimes I want to snatch it and run as fast as I can, screaming, "Mine, mine, mine." There is a two-year-old within me screaming and crying every time I do not get my way. A two-year-old within me who stomps and pounds my fists at God for all that I don't have, and a two-year-old within me who - at every opportunity- seems to run away at top speed from the Father who loves me, who is trying to protect me from the arms of sin. When I let this two-year-old have his way, it is called selfishness. James tells us two things about this two-year-old.

1. We want our own way and we want it now.

"Where do you think all these appalling wars and quarrels come from? Do you think they just happen? Think again. They come about because you want your own way, and fight for it deep inside yourselves. . . .You're spoiled children, each wanting your own way" (James 4:1, 3b).

I love James's straightforwardness here. You want to know why all of the stuff that is happening in our world is happening? It's because of me! Before you let yourself off the hook too soon, it's because of you, too. Like a two-year-old who wants her way, we too make decisions that are based only on what is best for ourselves.

What if my grandfather had chosen what was best for him and sent my mom away? What if my mom had chosen to use the newly legalized abortion option and never go through the grief of telling anyone? What if my aunts and uncles had dismissed me as a mistake to be ashamed of rather than a blessing to be thankful for? Their choice to be radically selfless changed my life, and quite frankly, the lives of thousands of people whom I have had the opportunity to minister. In fact, the choices of these people have changed your life in at least one small way-you are reading a book by someone who was seen as a worthy investment rather than a mistake. Huram could have chosen what was best for him. He could have demanded a better assignment on the project, working on a piece of the project that would be seen by more people, rather than the very tops of the temple columns. He could have decided to stay in Tyre and build his business. He could have never even gotten great at anything to begin with, and just lived for the moment. But instead, he made a choice that we study and write books about thousands of years later.

2. We want what is not ours.

"You lust for what you don't have and are willing to kill to get it. You want what isn't yours and will risk violence to get your hands on it. You wouldn't think of just asking God for it, would you? And why not? Because you know you'd be asking for what you have no right to" (James 4:2, 3a).

Greed is really one of the basic sins that we all struggle with. From the time we are born until the time we die, we are daily confronted with wanting what is not ours. One of the things that we lust for the most is fame. Fame belongs to God. God alone deserves it, yet we all are willing to kill for fame. Now if you are like me, you immediately think that is an overstatement. Surely you jest, you're thinking. I would not kill for fame. The first time I really read James 4 and pondered this very idea I thought the same thing. Then I heard these questions in my heart of hearts.

Would you not kill coworkers' dreams for your fame?
Would you not kill relationships for your fame?
Would you not kill yourself spiritually for your fame?

With the answers to these questions, I look inside and see, like Lewis, a "zoo of lusts" that aim to take what I do not deserve, rather than a gentle spirit that looks to invest in things that truly matter. With this knowledge I feel lost, but God gives us more grace: "That is why Scripture says: ‘God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.' Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you" (James 4:6-7a NIV).

I know that Huram must have struggled with this as he made the decision to work on Solomon's high-profile building project. He would have the chance to get his name in lights, or at least in bronze. I know that he must have felt this inner struggle to do what was best for him and his future legacy. We will see in the next chapter that Huram stepped up to the plate and chose to invest in things that might not bring fame and fortune, but that would last, and he chose to even work on some things that would never be seen by anyone but God.

Shawn Wood is the experiences Pastor at Seacoast Church and the Author of 200 Pomegranates and an Audience of One. You can find Shawn blogging at http://www.shawnsblogspot.com

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